The Lie of Despair

"Everyone will be better off"

No.

No we won’t.

look for unwritten notes

answer endless questions

stare at the empty pillow, vacant office

watch the dog mope room to room

clutch each other and scream

do paperwork in an endless wormhole

stand silent in a broken circle

make reservations for us minus one

meet with moneychangers

turn tables upside down

sort pictures collections trophies mementos

whose only meaning is you

receive flowers meals charity pity reasons

dear god the reasons

rage because there is no reason

accept nothing assume nothing

watch shadows fall on a cloudless day

across the eyes of your son

go deaf from the echo of your absence

You assume too much
to think you matter so little


Photo credit: depositphotos.com #23343800, standard license

The Winter Widow

While it is true
I have a new life
and new love
that I am happy, content and fulfilled

I am also still a widow
draped by all that has come before
I process this mantle every single day
like remembering to pick up my winter

coat from the dry cleaners
and put it on when I walk past the place
where I spilled wine on the hem
at supper that last week

I pull the fur
lined hood over my head
as his favorite song rumbles
through the playlist

The elbow snags when I bump
into his former employee at the game
and she adds the scarf of her arm
around my neck, chatters on

about how excited he would be
that we are in the cup run,
how he regretted not opting
for playoff tickets in '04.

I take the coat in again
ask if they can remove the stain
repair the snag, box it up
like the wedding dress of '81

I use the coat less now
it's getting tattered
no longer a go-to choice
and while it was

very helpful for three winters
and I will never get rid of it
the weight is more than I
need for this spring

Picture 1: depositphotos.com #5278483, standard license

Picture 2: depositphotos.com #14069717, standard license