Colon Cancer

I am a passenger in a van
My mother is driving
My mother never drove
Two people are in the backseat
We drive into a building
A deep pool of water
we are sinking
This is my one phobia
trapped submerged
I rehearse how to escape
Wait while
the interior fills with water
I’ve rehearsed this
Don’t panic.
As the car fills I fill my lungs
Try to roll down the window
No power
Reach for a manual handle
In the miracle of dreams
It is there
Roll it down
We all slip out

Except my mother.

On the surface
I refill my lungs
Look down
Still no mother
The van is nose down and sinking
I take the rear bumper
Pull it up like superman
Spin it around
To get to the drivers side
Reach in and pull mom out
To surface and safety
She’s not breathing
I hold her hug her
do the Heimlich
the Heimlich?
We call for help
But she revives
I save her life
Because it’s my dream.






Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Think on These Things

Only a mother knows what it is like to wait for her child's return.

Relief that first day you walk home from school alone kicking that pebble ahead of you.

Little did you know that she was on her knees half the day praying your heart would not be crushed

And it wasn't, not really, until that day in junior high, and you rush past her without a word, slam the door of your room. But her voice pries open the door and her arms around you accidentally bump the Niagara faucet of tears, her pulse a Richter scale for shattering sobs erupting from a ruptured friendship.

You start leaving in stages, stay away longer each time. Pack less. You touch home base, eat quickly, gather treasures and go learn from other mothers and fathers and brothers in arms. And a mother knows this is why she raised you, praised you, prays for you, stays for you. Waits for you in empty rooms once filled with your light.

She loves life too and lives it well. But it's never so full as when you fill her sight, walk by her side, share with her your other loves. She waits for this.

A mother loves you first and longest.
Perhaps history and kindness will show if she has loved you well.